This turned me on a little.
There is really no description for what lies beneath. Unless you're asking about the movie, it's a ghost thriller.
I once had a drunk guy tell me I was too sexy to be shooting up at a party. He knocked the needle out of my hands and stepped on the pen, shattering the casing, telling me I should thank him by giving him my number and a kiss. It was my diabetes medicine.
(submitted by anonymous)
My roommate and I are really sick and we look like shit, but we were hungry so we ordered pizza.
But we didn’t want anyone to see us, so we asked them over the phone if we can leave the money on the door and they can just drop off the pizza.
The guy said sure.
So we decided to leave a nice little note
and we hung it above the door bell. I hope they like it!
pizza spelt its own name wrong
Keep in mind my grandma over dramatizes everything. My dad was already on his way and the cell phone just needed to be restarted.
Submitted by a reader.
Popcorn and cookies tastes not like the magical movie theatre I deserve, but the magical movie theatre that I need right now.
Yes, Max, eat the cookies. The cookies make the pain go away. Keep closing the box as if you’re done eating them, we know better. The chocolate chip joy train has arrived at the station.
actual diary entry from when i was in 5th grade oh my god
Anonymous said: This is gonna sound so stupid but what is a fuckboy? lol
- timothy over here askin’ for nudes when all u did was say hello
- connor who won’t calm down with his axe spray tryna infect ya lungs
- colin adding #420 to his bio when he smoked weed one time
- gregory mad cause u didn’t blow him after the first date
how to spot a fuckboy:
- white nike tube socks with his adidas sandals
- he wants to play 20 questions (!!!!!!!!! do not play !!!!!!!!!!! especially if there’s a “;)” involved)
- relies on his mom but doesn’t respect women
- looks like he just read one of jaden smith’s tweets in all of his selfies
- can’t find the clitoris
fuckboys come in all shapes and sizes and results may vary but when he a fuckboy…he a fuckboy…and u will know
this post is so important
Sweatpants have got to be the only type of pants where wearing boxers is the least comfortable option. You allow those things the space to move around and you’re getting the tag right up the ass.
Submitted by a reader.
"Just because it’s called hippity hop doesn’t mean it makes me want to go hippity hop!"